A Look Back on the Year We Don't Want to Talk About


To be honest my first draft of this started with “F*CK 2016!”. When I was  thinking about my annual end of the year review back in December, I really had nothing good to say about 2016. It was shittastic, but I couldn’t post that because it would be dismissing all the good things that happened throughout the year. So, I’m not going to write about the doom and gloom, nor am I going to write about happy memories (those are now preserved in my journal for future archaeologists to read). Instead, I want to share with you the (heavy) lessons I have learned from surviving 2016.  

Here we go:

- Humanize People-

This is the only political comment I will allow myself to include here. We as a community  have been divided by our political beliefs. 2016 was a year of “us vs. them” and it broke us. It broke us bad. Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that people didn’t remain apathetic to the political climate last year. We were active AF! But we allowed our anger to divide us. We ended relationships with people who we thought were too stubborn. We refused to listen to the other side. We called “them” sheep as we also followed our own herd.

We forgot that “they” are human too. “They” are just like “us”! They also want to be safe, to be represented, and to be able to advance.  We were so quick to label and isolate them that we forgot the similarities of our struggles.

We are all humans and not just statistics. As we fight for our freedom and our civil liberties, I hope we remember that the “other side” probably wants the same things too. We just have perspectives on how to accomplish our goals.

For this, I’m sorry.

- Nothing Lasts Forever and Nothing Remains The Same-

I took people who care about me for granted because I was so caught up in myself. It’s always been about me, me, me. I got too comfortable and 2016 was the year the universe said “ENOUGH!”.  Consequences of my neglect to care for my relationships with family, friends, and partner came pouring out in abundance.

The funny thing is, these consequences had to happen in order for the lesson to be learned.  Through neglect of a relationship, mishandled discussions, and through death, I learned never to take a person for granted. I learned to be grateful for the time we have together and to be empathetic. Everyone’s story is different and it’s important to listen.

For this mistake, I am so sorry.

-Live in the Present-

Sigh. Not living in the present ranks very high on my “Things I Have to Fix” list.  I am either reliving the past and asking myself “what could have been” questions or I am fantasizing/ worrying about the future. I stress out and am anxious about a lot of things and it keeps me from just “being”.

Don’t get me wrong, looking back at the past and dreaming about the future are good things to do. Unfortunately, I just do it in an unhealthy amount. This is definitely a bad habit that I have to get over because it has cost me my happiness and my relationships with people.

I’m sorry.

- Conclusion-

Though unpolished, that was very difficult for me to write. Self-reflecting has never been easy for me because all I ever see are negatives. I have made so many mistakes in 2016 and admitting them is so difficult.  I grew to dislike myself over the years and it’s been quite depressing.  It’s like every time I see myself in the mirror, I just see the word “FAIL” written across my forehead.

But it’s a whole new year and I truly believe with great hope and a lot of hard work, we all can improve ourselves. We can all be happy. It just takes time, work, empathy, and a more compassionate perspective.

A teacher and a friend of mine once told me that she is a phoenix and so am I. I read that over and over again through tears in my eyes because I desperately need it to be true.

“I am a phoenix and so are you”

Her message gives me hope and I read that letter whenever I want to remind myself that “I CAN DO THIS! WE CAN DO THIS!”.

I will use these lessons and message to keep moving forward towards a place where I’m happy and where I actually like myself.

That  is reason why I truly believe, even with all the hardships we are about to face, that the "Future Looks Good”.

"Future Looks Good" by OneRepublic
from their album "Oh My My" 

This emo post was written by Muriel 

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